It’s hard to give yourself permission to learn new things. Especially once you’ve obtained that almighty degree, and have obtained the status of Graduate. It’s slightly easier to be a student when it’s entirely for fun. When I’m in dance class, I can be fully focused and in the moment. I can concentrate on the lesson and what the take away is. Not so easy when the only teacher is me, and I also happen to be the only student in the class.
Forcing focus when I know I need to be concentrating on learning all the things is probably the hardest adult thing I’ve had to do. I get why so few people chose to trod the path of self-employment. When you have to learn something new to move in to the next phase of your business, but all you want to do is watch re-runs of The Last Airbender and not adult today…it’s damn hard.
So I’ve been kind of slacking these last two weeks. Oh, I can say I’ve been working. I’ve been diligently making things to sell as “end cap” items at events I vend. Not really the main attraction, but cute little items people will look at, smile, and buy, hopefully along with a couple of yards of silk or some silk thread. And I had a brilliant break through for an idea my boyfriend had. But as far as being a student and learning the things I need to learn for Damask Raven? Yeah, I’m a total slacker.
But that’s ok, sometimes. The slacking is coming to an end. It sort of has to. Not because I’ve never failed. You can’t live life without experiencing some failure. It has to end because I know what I’m capable of. But I can’t do the things I know I can, when I slack for too long. So it’s time to hit the books again. Time to learn all the things. Time to educate myself…to be a student.